What Is He Thinking?

NOTHING!

Have you ever been driving down the motorway in comfortable silence and asked your husband “what are you thinking?” Only to have him respond “Nothing”.  Since you can’t understand the concept of actually thinking about nothing, you then switch from comfortable silence to agitated silence as you conclude that he MUST be hiding something from you!

Welcome to the differences between men and women!

What Science Says

The University of Pennsylvania have been studying the male and female brain for more than 30 years. Their studies show that men and women's brains are actually wired in very different ways. These studies have also shown that men can actually think about nothing at all while still breathing and looking awake!  Mark Gungor does a great skit on this in his seminar Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage.  He calls this phenomenon “The Nothing Box”. You can watch Mens Brains verse Women's Brains Here. 

Waffles and Spaghetti

For many women this concept is so completely foreign it's hard to even imagine that it exists.  Bill & Pam Farrell suggest, in their book “Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti”, that an easy way to understand the difference between our brains is to see a woman's brain like a bowl of spaghetti, where everything is connected to everything else.  When asked what she wants for dinner she may have to run through a range of topics, from booking a dentist appointment to a review on the last cafe she visited, before eventually coming back to the original question.

However, a man's brain is like a waffle.  Every subject that a man has ever studied, or event they have decided is important enough to remember, has been compartmentalized into its own individual box - you, sex, money, the car, rugby, work, children etc.  Men move from one box to the other and prefer to discuss the content of that one box only. This is one of the reasons why men find it so hard to multitask, and why they almost need to “reset” when moving out of the sports box into the you or the children’s box.

That Empty Box

And one of these boxes, which some men describe as their favorite place to go, is the Nothing Box, given its name because it is completely empty.  Men often go to this box to relax, calm down or zone out. They don’t have to think about emotions, feelings or anything else and can just focus on the simple task at hand, like driving or watching sport.  According to my husband, watching a game requires very little mind capacity. And when something exciting happens, the brain peaks and they can easily jump into the sports box, right next door, to cheer on their team and rehash the play.

So next time you ask your husband what he is thinking and get a “Nothing” in response, you’ll be able to reassure yourself that this might actually be the case and continue your drive in comfortable silence.