What Is He Thinking?!?

- I feel like he just wants sex all the time!

God designed men and women differently.  We were made with different body parts, different needs, different strengths and weaknesses and, different ways of thinking about things.   For some reason, God also thought it was a good idea to make men think very differently than women about sex.

A Need, Not Just A Want

For many men, sex is a base need, not just something they can take or leave and, for most, this is a need that must be met regularly.  While we women need to feel loved to want to have sex, men need to have sex to feel loved. However, it is important to note that, for most men, reluctant sex from their wives is very unsatisfying. While it may meet the physical need, it is unlikely to really meet their love needs.

Your man wants to feel desired and sexy to you. This gives him confidence in himself and actively effects his sense of general happiness and well-being.  As wives, we have been given a special and privileged way of showing our husbands what they mean to us.

A Biblical Mandate

It is more than just a love and desire to look after and please our husbands, I believe we also have a strong Biblical mandate as Christian wives to make sex a priority in our marriages.  

1 Corinthians 7:3 tells us “The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs.”  

God knew that both men and women have sexual needs that are best fulfilled in a safe and loving environment.  

When we feel fulfilled and our needs are being met there is much less want, or desire, to look for other sources outside of our relationship.  When we make the effort to work on this area, it will not only help us create a connected and happy marriage but also help protect us from outside harm.

So next time your husband touches you suggestively or asks you to spend some intimate time together, try not to just brush him off or focus on his frustratingly, intense need for sex.  Instead, I encourage you to take his suggestion seriously and think about how you might be able to make time and get yourself in the headspace to meet his needs. Not out of reluctance or obligation, but out of love and care for your husband and respect for God's design.

Need ideas for how to open up the communication channels about sex in your relationship?  Make sure you check out Let's talk about sex