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The Positivity Posture
The Positivity Posture A small perspective shift that significantly improved my marriage. For some people positivity is a gift. These people express words of affirmation exceedingly well and their outlook on life focuses on the good things. I am a strong choleric personality with a bent towards strategy, an ability to identify issues and then find ways to move forward. This means that positivity and affirmations are definitely something I need to work on. That's not to say I am always negative either, but critiquing does come naturally, much to my husband's dismay. About 6 months ago I was having a D & M (one of my favourite things to do)…
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Picnic Party For Two
Date Night Idea If you are anything like me you love the idea of a picnic. Yummy food, awesome company, and the great outdoors. I own the fancy basket with the mini plastic wine glasses, flimsy cutlery, and tiny space to fit all your food – it’s pretty but not super practical. Unfortunately, though, the reality is we hardly ever have time during warm daylight hours to go on a proper picnic. But, who says you can’t take that pretty basket for a spin, winter or summer? So, last winter when it was cold outside, Mike and I had a picnic for Friday night date night – on our lounge room floor!…
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Hope Anchor
Hope - a word that is often used to describe our feelings of expectation that something we are struggling with or waiting for will change for the better. We say to someone struggling, “you need to have hope.” We talk about the outcome we hope to happen. But for me, the concept of hope has been an ongoing source of struggle. So often in periods of waiting, hope has seemed painful and pointless as expectations and desires go unmet. Since I know God is all powerful and can do all things, when it feels like he doesn't follow through, or it seems to take a long time, my balance in…
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Backwards Dating
Backwards Dating - Date Night Idea Who says dinner has to start with an entree? Why not start with dessert?! For my husband and me, our fortnightly date nights are something we both look forward to. This is an opportunity for us to just hang out as a couple, away from the pressures of daily life. A way to make fun new memories; to spend focused time talking, laughing and connecting with each other. However, for all my husbands' great qualities, creativity, especially when it comes to date night ideas, is a struggle. Mike would be very happy with some nice food and a board game or two every time. I,…
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Clearing the Decks
3 Keys to Learning to Fight Fair The process of learning to fight fair is a journey we will be on for the rest of our lives. Whether we like to admit it or not, for most of us this is because of our innately selfish nature. It’s a symptom of The Fall, but thankfully it’s an area we can certainly improve in. Rick Warren describes marriage as “a lifelong course in learning to be unselfish” and I totally agree with him. When I reflect on the arguments I have with my husband they are pretty much always fuelled by the selfish desires of one, or both of us – even…
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Lounge Room Slumber Party
Date Night Idea What is the secret to an awesome date night? Your significant other, some creativity and a little bit of planning. Mike and I strongly believe that even though we are married, we still want to date each other for the rest of our lives. But with our busy schedules, date nights don’t happen unless we are intentional and book them in. We have agreed that, for us, once a fortnight is a good frequency and before we book anything else in our month we make sure date night is marked in. Date nights are times when we do something fun together, something different from the norm. But…
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Allies or Enemies? Conflict Resolution Tips
Conflict – a word that makes many of us cringe, but an unavoidable experience in any marriage relationship, especially a healthy, thriving one. The goal, however, is achieving healthy conflict rather than unhealthy conflict. Whether your natural response is to be the loud and angry fighting type, the extended silent treatment type, the stick your head in the sand and ignore it but build up resentment type, or a mixture of all three, it is important to figure out what this healthy conflict business actually looks like. I am certainly far from being an expert in this area, and to be honest, conflict resolution is probably the thing my husband…
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The Infertile Journey
The Infertile Journey 3 keys to finding peace in life's storms In August of 2015, 4 months before our wedding, our journey began. In a quest to find out what kind of contraception we should use we started the process of testing. By November that year we received our first letter. The prognosis didn’t look so good and we were being referred to a specialist. More testing and in July of 2016 our 2nd letter came. We were told that the likelihood of us ever conceiving a baby naturally was very low. I write this blog, two years into our marriage and from the depths of our storm. We…
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Day In, Day Out
Marriage. Every little girl’s dream. The handsome man, the amazing romance, the white dress, and riding off into the sunset for a life of wedded bliss. It devastates me that for so many a life of wedded bliss is actually a very distant reality. If couples manage to avoid becoming yet another divorce statistic, so many then settle for an unhappy marriage which stays together for the kids, belief systems, companionship or out of fear. Having been through a failed marriage, I can attest to the immense pain this process brings. So going into my second marriage I was determined to: first, do my very best to make a wise…
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Back To School
Back To School - Some Early Marriage Lessons A Bit About Me My husband and I both grew up in Christian homes. Through our own journeys, we have found a personal and living relationship with Jesus. Because of this, we are strongly committed to following through with the words we spoke on our wedding day - “until death do us part.” I was brought up in a loving environment with amazing role models as parents. While they have gone through their share of struggles and pain, they have been committed to working on their marriage, and growing in love with each other. In my late teenage years (and on a…
