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All Locked Up
All Locked Up – Unlocking the Grid on Perpetual Problems Does it sometimes feel like you are in the middle of a type of “Ground Hog Day”? Repeating the same argument over and over. The words, and specifics, may look different, but ultimately you are fighting about the same thing, again and again. So Many Problems! John & Julie Gottman, renowned leaders in relationship research, have found that 69% of a couples arguments are what they call “perpetual problems”. This means that the same type of issues will keep coming up. And to make matters worse, they believe that this type of problem is not truly solvable! They explain that this is…
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All the Small Things
All the Small Things – Little things that help move your marriage from good to great. As you fight the urge to sing Blink 182’s “All The Small Things” chorus with me, let’s take a look at how all those small things that we do or say in our marriages can impact our relationship. Small Things = Big Impact The small things in our marriage make a big difference. Just like a bit of salt or a pinch of spice add flavour, taking a meal from bland to exciting, the small things we do have the potential to add interest, build connection and take our marriages from boring or average to…
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Sorry – a not so simple word
Sorry – a not-so-simple word If you are anything like Mike and I then you have probably found yourself in the middle of a fight, or ten, and you aren’t really sure how you got there. All of a sudden one seemingly harmless comment or observation blew up in your face and now you are knee-deep in a big pile of angst, hurt, and aggression. But, now that you are here you have to find a way to wade your way through it, ideally without too much fallout. Here enters one of my husband’s favourite words – Sorry. They say it is one of the hardest words to say. However, in our house, Mike…
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The Truth Of Trust
The Truth of Trust The saying “trust takes years to build, but seconds to break” is one that resonates with many of us. We have all been victims of broken trust at some point in our lives. In my experience, though this statement isn’t the complete story. You see everyone is trustworthy in some area/s of their life, but no person is trustworthy in all. So if we are to get through life without a trail of broken and hurting relationships we need to learn how to rebuild after trust is broken, and how to set the right expectations of people in the first place. Mike and I had a…
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What is your marriage vision?
What is your Marriage Vision? Do you know where you are heading as a couple? What is your God-given Purpose? Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. Proverbs 29:18 KJV
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What Is He Thinking? – Disagreements
What Is He Thinking? He keeps shutting down or walking away when we argue. If you’re anything like me, there are very few things worse than arguing with your husband. It often seems like everything is going along really well and then “BAM” all of a sudden you’re in the middle of a disagreement. Not to mention that what you are fighting about is often pretty trivial and gets blown out of proportion by poor responses and heated emotions. What can really make everything feel even worse is when your husband, who is generally committed and loving, either stops responding or gets up and walks away, effectively putting an end…
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How Often Should Married Couples Have Sex?
How Often Should Married Couples Have Sex? A question asked by pretty much every engaged and married couple. However, it is likely that the expectations of either partner on the frequency they will be having sex are quite different. Before they get married many couples have visions of making passionate love to each other every night. They may also expect that every night is going to be exceptional! But if you skip forward a few years into a marriage, and maybe add a child or two, the desire for sex has often greatly diminished, especially for a spouse with a lower desire. I remember a couple of months into my marriage…
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Becoming A Student of Your Spouse
Becoming a Student of Your Spouse What does this actually mean? And 6 practical steps to achieve this. No matter how old we get, we never stop learning. The world we live in is changing rapidly and we are forced to continually learn new skills and adapt to our surroundings. Meeting new people also requires us to learn how best to read them and interact with them. If we want to thrive in life we need to be intentional about this learning. This includes regularly revising the understanding we take for granted and moving forward with a fresh outlook. When you first met your spouse there was likely an initial…
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What’s He Thinking? – Nothing!
What Is He Thinking? NOTHING! Have you ever been driving down the motorway in comfortable silence and asked your husband “what are you thinking?” Only to have him respond “Nothing”. Since you can’t understand the concept of actually thinking about nothing, you then switch from comfortable silence to agitated silence as you conclude that he MUST be hiding something from you! Welcome to the differences between men and women!
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Side By Side
Side By Side 5 Reasons Community is Vital for your Marriage When God created the world, He designed us to be in relationship with other people. We were made in the image of God and, like the Trinity, we too thrive in community. It not only helps alleviate our loneliness but also teaches us and enables us to grow. In Proverbs 27:17 it says “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” This means that when we spend time around other people, God uses them to soften our rough edges. In community we learn to be less self-focused, and to improve our communication and people skills. Many…
