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Discovered in Disappointment
Discovered in Disappointment TRIGGER WARNING – Subject deals with miscarriage and infertility. Have you ever felt disappointed at God? Not just upset, but angry, confused and deeply disappointed. Maybe you felt like he’d spoken to you, taken you on a journey, was directing and leading you, but then it all looked lost and you wondered if you got it completely wrong? Or, is it that life has handed you some big curveballs and you wonder how God can turn it around? Disappointment is certainly not a place people talk about much in Christian settings. But what do you do when these are your feelings and this is your journey? When Disappointed Is…
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The Infertile Journey
The Infertile Journey 3 keys to finding peace in life's storms In August of 2015, 4 months before our wedding, our journey began. In a quest to find out what kind of contraception we should use we started the process of testing. By November that year we received our first letter. The prognosis didn’t look so good and we were being referred to a specialist. More testing and in July of 2016 our 2nd letter came. We were told that the likelihood of us ever conceiving a baby naturally was very low. I write this blog, two years into our marriage and from the depths of our storm. We…
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Enjoyed – A Mini Musing
If you are a reader then you will absolutely understand the idea that some books leave a mark on your life. One of those books for me is The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. This is a book that certainly did the rounds in the early 2000s church. It is also a contributing factor to my coming back to faith. All that to say, I love this book! So when Mike and I started to re-read it a while back it was sure to bring some new revelations. One such revelation was early on when Rick discusses our eternity. Yes, we get to look forward to spending eternity with God. But God is also…
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Recommended Marriage Resources
One of the things I love most about couples starting out in their marriage journey is their desire to learn. They know they are starting something big (and a little scary), and they want to find out all they can about how to do it well. My greatest tip for them, and for that matter, any married couple I get the opportunity to talk to, is to: Foster a culture of learning in your marriage. There is ALWAYS more to learn! On this side of heaven, we will never know everything. We can always learn more about ourselves, our spouses, and ways to grow and develop in our marriage and…
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Filled To Overflowing
Filled To Overflowing – The Next Step When You Are Running On Empty If you are anything like me, being around people revives your spirit and gives you energy. Married life has been wonderful for this part of my personality. I now have a live-in person who is “expected” to talk and connect with me on a regular basis, especially when I’ve had a hard day or have to get my word count out. But this tendency to need people around, and my desire to connect on a deeper level can also be a challenge. You see, sometimes I find it hard not to expect or require too much from the people…
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Mini Musing – A Change In Perspective
Recently my daughter, Laney, and I were discussing what she had achieved in a maze book she was working on. In the definite fashion of a 4-year-old, she informed me that she had completed 3 mazes but when she came to a wall in her way she had just gone over it onto the next-door path. It was evident that to her this was absolutely the most logical and obvious way around the issue she had come across. Later that day she was at the park and a couple of bigger boys were mucking around on the slide she wanted to go down. Rather than avoiding the slide or getting upset she…
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All Locked Up
All Locked Up – Unlocking the Grid on Perpetual Problems Does it sometimes feel like you are in the middle of a type of “Ground Hog Day”? Repeating the same argument over and over. The words, and specifics, may look different, but ultimately you are fighting about the same thing, again and again. So Many Problems! John & Julie Gottman, renowned leaders in relationship research, have found that 69% of a couples arguments are what they call “perpetual problems”. This means that the same type of issues will keep coming up. And to make matters worse, they believe that this type of problem is not truly solvable! They explain that this is…
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Mini Musing – Spiral Up
Do you ever feel frustrated when issues you thought you had dealt with seem to rear their ugly heads again? Doesn’t it feel demoralising when you find yourself responding to a situation the way you used to, even though you have worked so hard in that area? As I was struggling with my thoughts on this recently, I was reminded that when we come to Christ we come as we are, in all our messy brokenness. But He doesn’t want us to stay that way – do I hear a “Thank you Jesus!” However, He also knows we can’t deal with everything all at once. One step at a time,…
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All the Small Things
All the Small Things – Little things that help move your marriage from good to great. As you fight the urge to sing Blink 182’s “All The Small Things” chorus with me, let’s take a look at how all those small things that we do or say in our marriages can impact our relationship. Small Things = Big Impact The small things in our marriage make a big difference. Just like a bit of salt or a pinch of spice add flavour, taking a meal from bland to exciting, the small things we do have the potential to add interest, build connection and take our marriages from boring or average to…
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Mini Musing – Delighted
If you are a feijoa lover then autumn in New Zealand is a great season, especially if you know someone with a tree! These types of trees can be so abundant with fruit that when you say yes to “some” feijoa’s the giver will often supply you with a massive bag of them! As they hand it over, with a smile on their face, it is as if they are passing on the mission – you too now have to find as many ways as possible to use up the fruit before they go bad. The other day as I was sorting through another bag of gifted feijoa’s I felt a…
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Sorry – a not so simple word
Sorry – a not-so-simple word If you are anything like Mike and I then you have probably found yourself in the middle of a fight, or ten, and you aren’t really sure how you got there. All of a sudden one seemingly harmless comment or observation blew up in your face and now you are knee-deep in a big pile of angst, hurt, and aggression. But, now that you are here you have to find a way to wade your way through it, ideally without too much fallout. Here enters one of my husband’s favourite words – Sorry. They say it is one of the hardest words to say. However, in our house, Mike…
